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I’m posting…..its a little scary
Hello. I’m Susie and I’m writing my very own post coz I’m cool and wanted to tell you all something. Yesterday me and my housemates took a trip to Spurn Point which is very beautiful indeed. Except for all the litter. Anyhoo, as we were walking along we didn’t notice the big thing on the beach that we really should have noticed because it was bigger than all the litter but we were deep in chat. So it wasn’t until I was stood right next to it that I saw it and jumped very far away. Then I started laughing at my self for jumping (and screaming if I’m honest) at a toy whale. I don’t know why I thought it was a toy whale it was just the first thing that came into my head.
However, as I walked back to it the others were stood round saying “why is there a giant fish on the beach?” It was then that I realised it was actually a dead dolphin. Which is quite sad in itself. But to make matters worse Abi told us that all the gases build up when it dies and if you hit it it will explode. So Alison proceeded to throw rocks at it. Sicko. I feel nearly as guilty as when Jonny told the boat people that were working with disabled kids. (that relates to camp - sorry non Whitby people).
Do I press ‘publish’ now??
Wow… that is brilliant. Did it explode?
No. I don’t know if I was disappointed or relieved.
It could have gotten quite messy! Did you get any photos of it?
Do you think I should rename the blog to The Hoylands now that y’all can post?
No I like the feeling of safety that you are in control of the blog. I may start to feel too responsible if it was called The Hoylands. Also, yes, we got lots of photos! Some more gruesome than others…..but all with a lovely sunset in the background.
Send them to me - I’ll put them somewhere on the blog!!Â
I just bought a very nice new camera! It gets delivered tomorrow, cant wait! Its such a good camera, much better than my old one (which was still good, so imagine how good this one is!). Unfortunately is isn’t cheep, but that’s what overdrafts and savings are for. And I am making money from photography now, the jobs i have got lined up between now and the summer will pay for most of it.
In other news, my cat has to go for an operation tomorrow. Its got teeth problems and cant eat. But because its old and has a heart murmur it could die. That would be sad.
Can I have your old camera then… for free? Also, why don’t you feed your cat soup, then it doesn’t  need to use it’s teeth. Alternatively you could send it to Jonny, he works in a dental hospital afterall, I’m sure he’d be able to help. On a more serious note, I hope your cat is ok.
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Also Susie… how big was the dolphin?
we looked after this woman’s dog once and nearly killed it and i had to feed it chicken soup off my finger and carry it outside to poo. which was fun. thankfully it could manage the pooing part itself and i totally saved its life. i’m SO going to heaven
and susie i’m incredibly proud of u 4 the post, and pleased that u screamed coz it’s totally what i would’ve done! and exploding dolphin woul’ve mde me wet myself.
i am absolutely againt a hoyland post…unless i can be an honourary (?) hoyland
Ruth,
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It is no easy thing becoming an honorary Hoyland. You have to guess a password and other such tasks!
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Only the bravest of souls attempt such a rite of passage.
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If you require any other information you can reach me at jonny@hoyland.me.uk
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hehe
Andy I tried to send you some photos but it didn’t work. I didn’t attempt again. I get bored easily. Carolyn, it was very small, about 4 feet long. I think it may have been a calf. I’m 22 in two days - ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! I’ll be a twenty-something. Everyone go to youtube and search for “that mitchell and webb look medical drama”. Its great. I saw it on tele but am happy that now I can see it again.
Also Sushi…
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When you said “I feel nearly as guilty as when Jonny told the boat people that were working with disabled kids”…
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I should clarify that I never actually said that the kids were disabled.. I merely implied it by suggesting that they were unable to make it onto the boat themselves.
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This is not untrue. They couldn’t make it onto the boat.
Why?
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Because we wouldn’t let them.
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The best part of that tale is Jonny trying to get on the boat by flashing a badge at the man that said “Jonny - Superman”! Well now he’s gonna let you on!
Well excuse me Miss Powell…
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I think that you will find that once the man saw my legitimate ’superman’ credentials, he did indeed wave us onto the boat.
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We have the pictures to prove it.
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On another note… Jimmy Olsen in this scenario was played by our very own Pete Smith.
Hate to be a pedant (actually, I don’t, I quite like it) but Susie - if you’re going to be 22 in a few days surely you’re already a 20-something?
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From the end of this week I’m going to be in my late twenties - now that’s scary!
Yes Kate I see what you mean. However, 20 is not twenty something its just 20. And 21, in my opinion, is a defined age. Like 18. But 22 is truly a twenty something. My logic makes sense to me.
Susie and Kate - your birthdays are very close together. About as close as mine and Ruth W’s I think.
In school news - one of the classrooms at my school is being refitted in the coming months so we had a company come and quote for the work today. The company was called Cupboard Love.
It made me laugh.
My cat is still alive! I am at home right now for a flying visit (not specifically for the cat, but its an added bonus). He is in pain with his mouth, but they weren’t sure if he would even wake up after the operation, but gladly he did. He says hi to you all. And i now have my new camera (which is why i am home because they would only deliver it to the address my card is registered to)! It really is the most gorgeous piece of kit you will ever see. But sorry Carolyn, I still want my old one as well, I will need it as a spare at your wedding as if my new one breaks on the day and I am left without a camera you wont be happy. And its just cool to have 2 camera bodies (talking of bodies, I was poking around half a dead mans head today, he needed to shave). By the way, now I have this new camera which is so much better I am going to charge you at least double the normal price for the wedding photos. Hope that’s OK. Complain to my website designer if its not.
That’s fine Pete
We’ll pay you the double. However my cash machine only lets me take out tenners… will you be able to give us the fiver change?
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hehe
Why and how was the man “half dead”?
I wondered that too but after much worrying I realised he was half a dead man. As in he was dead but not his whole head was there. I’m no doctor, but I’m thinking maybe that’s why he was dead in the first place.
Which side of the head was it? Left or right? Was he old? What were you looking for? I think if someone asked me to prod half a head I’d be sick.
Mat - please would you prod half a head?
Smart alec. I meant if someone plodded half a head down in front of me and asked me to prod it.Â
Pete…
Is the brain a bit like a jelly type substance… or is it quite tough and stodgy?
Well it depends. If the person wasn’t very clever, I imagine it’d be thick.
Sorry.
I shall get my coat.
Pete doesn’t really know any of this - he just watched ER, Casualty, Holby City and Flying Doctors and then pretends he knows his stuff. Honestly - just you wait - he won’t answer that question until he has either:
A) Seen the answer on one of the programmes mentioned above.
B) Hired the entire back catalogue of DVDs for the above programmes.
C) Emailed his good friend Fletch asking him to read the scripts for Neighbours to see if it has been mentioned.
Has anyone looked at the youtube sketch yet? Its very relevant to this conversation. Pete, you’d love it.
The head was a head cut in half that used to belong to a man who is now dead, rather that it been the head of a half dead man. We were looking at the mussels and nerves that control the movements of the eye and eyelid. We had the left side of his head. He was very old. He will have died naturally and donated his body to us. Its difficult to say how things feel in living people. The bodies we have are heavily preserved so everything feels leathery. And, strangely enough, they don’t let us poke the brains of living people just for the sake of it. The brains I have touched were a bit like wet leather, soft, but strong. They do usually feel slimy, your fingers feel wet when you touch them (even tho you have gloves on). Has anyone heard the joke about the anatomy tutor and his students who puts his fingers in the dead bodies bottom then licks them? (its not rude)…
Hehe…
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I find it concerning that Pete will soon be a real doctor (opposed to the fake student type), yet he believes that inside the head of a dead man you can find both nerves and a delicious type of seafood which is particularly scrummy in a tomato and basil sauce.
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hehe
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that’s the spell checkers fault, not mine….muscles then. You really can see nerves, I didn’t think you would be able to, but you can, they look a bit like thin bits of string running around the body.
So the nerves are running are they?
yes, the nerves are running, that’s obviously what I meant.
(Andy, is there a HTML code to represent sarcasm? )
Yes Pete - you put (blockquote name=”Jonny”) into the code brackets…
Oh ha ha
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Oh… now I see what you mean…
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That is so funny
i, too, had a similar panic when i thought Pete was mauling at half alive people’s heads. somewhat relieved to hear that a future doctor doesn’t have a seriously questionable hobby.Â
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talking about prodding things, Andy Roberts has some funny stories to tell about animal testing - i know, its one of those side splitting subjects. he’s turning rats into drugs addicts. calls it research. De-sgusting.
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Also, have you checked out the Righteous Hugger on YouTube - do it do it do it